Identity

I've had an epiphany, all my life I've wanted to be really good at one thing. My fate would be sealed by my prodigy status...or at least the next couple of years. But what I really wanted was an identity because it's difficult having one when you are interested in doing so many things. The benefit of searching through inadequacies is perspective. I don't need to be defined by my music, style, talents, politics....I can now handle my identity as being more fluid, depending on the time and place and knowing that it will always be infinitely mutable as I continue to grow. I've grown into my shoes so to speak.

The bright light of idealism shines harshly on eyes that see beyond yet willful cynicism binds those eyes so they do not see...rage..rage against the dying of the light

Why I hate baseball

I've always hated baseball with a passion....but i never could quite figure out why. It seemed so strange that I would become irrationally irritated over a group of guys in tight pants standing around trying to catch a ball while getting paid millions of dollars....oh wait that is irritating.

But, I think what irritates me more is why people enjoy baseball. Baseball is a sport of quantifiable movements. Of cause and effect, of predictability. Everything is planned to happen and everyone is in their position waiting for that ball to be hit to them so they will be lucky enough to catch. But life is not like baseball. Life is strategic, full of chance and fluid. Kind of like soccer (lol couldn't resist).

Watching baseball is thinking in quantifiable measurements where things happen in an appropriate regulated sort of way. Where there are countless things to measure and to compare to other measurements like RBIs, bases stolen and who know what else. This is how people live life sometimes. Measuring stocks, bonds, investments in the global economy and living life according to those measurements. Measurements of success, measurements of wealth. Where instead there is so much more to life that is not quantifiable in numerical data to be compared and contrasted. Living in such a confined existence, being given security by numbers, being assured control through predictability seems like a meaningless fruitless existence. I live to be a contrast to a numerical existence. Let me hear the symphony and feel the colors.

Baseball , for some reason unknown to me, represents a blind existence of self-satisfaction and myopic thinking. Never questioning, never learning outside of what is being taught, never aspiring to more than can possibly be. Baseball is an affront to values which I hold at my core, freedom, strength of will and openness of being.

This is just a silly rant about nothing really. I don't hold it against anybody if they like baseball (well not too much anyways) I just really, really hate baseball